I am a conservative who, from time to time, gets testy about leftists and enjoys giving them a gentle prod. Today, I am feeling especially annoyed. While watching the news on television, I learned the Ontario government plans to “invest” in solar panels for northern Metis communities so they can generate incredibly costly electricity for themselves and then sell any surplus to the provincial grid at staggering prices. Presumably, the Metis contribution to the “beneficial” project will consist in sweeping snow and ice from the panels during the six hours of feeble winter daylight.
Other thinkers have pointed out that the religious left founded liberalism and socialism in the West. I explain this as follows: Having shrewdly realized that government coffers are far more capacious than the pockets of those who attend church jumble sales, the more ambitious members of the religious left decided (quite sensibly) to abandon the Church and take over the government. I mean, the idea is a no brainer, right? Just think of all the “good” you can do with so much extra cash. Why do “good works” for a few folks in the local neighbourhood when you can institute massive universal nationwide social programs and “save” the entire country! Never mind that this inevitably leads to universal nationwide bankruptcy – we can work that out later (like that inspiring role model, Greece).
Socialism = Christianity since both are founded entirely upon blind faith in dubious dogma.
Government = God, the centre of power and source of all good things.
Studies and surveys = scripture, that which must be taken at face value and strictly obeyed.
Social problems = sins. We are all multifarious sinners so we all need many kinds of government funded “salvation.”
Social conscience = expanded Christian conscience. With the faithful, guilt is always the name of the game.
Social programs = good works. Note: Only leftists get to say what is “good” since everyone else is unacceptably “phobic” and in need of government funded psychiatric care, more politely described as “sensitivity training.”
Psychologists and psychiatrists = Jesuits. I know from hard personal experience that shrinks are as relentlessly captious as the sternest of Jesuits.
Government handouts = blessings/provenance, or – if big enough – outright miracles!
Grief and crisis counsellors = priests dispensing honour and high status to “helpless” victims and those who have had their day completely ruined by “trauma.”
Social workers = missionaries who venture into dangerously uncivilized regions to minister to the poor, the afflicted, and the downtrodden.
Universal “free” healthcare = miracle cures at miracle prices.
Government offices = churches, those solemn places of quiet worship and – when the blessings seem inadequate – the occasional swearing of oaths.